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The Confidence Project

Refreshinlgy honest & helpful conversations for fitness-minded women exploring body, business, and the human experience.

Aug 21, 2018

We're all guilty of it.

We see someone on the internet, or at a reunion, or at the gym, and we notice that they've lost weight. We congratulate them, we ask them what they've been doing, we tell them they look great.

What's so bad about that?

When all we do is preoccupy ourselves with others' weight- whether that's weight loss or lack thereof, we continue to fulfill the narrative that it's the most important thing about us.

We fail to recognize that our weight is the least important thing about us. When we can't see that for other people, that means we can't see that in ourselves either.

What about the women who are lifting weights, eating well, and their body never shrinks into a societal standard? Is that not to be celebrated? Is that not to be recognized? Is that not good enough?

What if the woman you just complimented for her weight loss is miserable? What if she's malnourished, feeling obsessive over her calorie intake, and hasn't enjoyed herself in months because she's so scared she'll gain weight? Is that still worthy of praise?

The divide continues. Women who achieve weight loss get more praise for women who pursue strength. Women who deprive themselves are seen as dedicated, driven, and motivated whereas women who are less occupied with their size and scale are... ignored? Given a silent pat on the back?

It needs to stop.
And it can stop here.