May 7, 2019
This was a hard one to break down! On the one hand, I don't want
anyone to walk around being rooted in negativity and
victim-mindset. At the end of the day, we still have to take
responsibility for our lives. This is not the antithesis to that,
but rather, another tool in order to help you take
responsibility.
Sometimes that responsibility means taking ownership of healing.
And if you're running around preaching or thinking POSITIVE VIBES
ONLY, then you are cutting yourself off from actual emotions, from
connection, from support, and even from the acknowledgement that
there's work to do.
Gratitude works- I'm not anti-gratitude by any means- but sometimes
it's OK to compartmentalize your life, show and feel gratitude for
the areas of your life that genuinely are OK, while still
acknowledging that other areas of your life might simply just suck
right now. We cannot judge those feelings of sadness, grief, loss,
trauma, anger, etc. We actually have to lean in and feel them.
Unfortunately, the heavy stuff isn't Pinterest or IG-worthy. And
honestly it's a damn shame. So many women are stuck feeling ashamed
if their life doesn't fit into the flowery frame of "positive vibes
only" and are left with no positive outlets or support when they
need it most. Yes, an outlet can be positive without it being
rooted in the judgement that "ONLY POSITIVE VIBES ARE ACCEPTED
HERE!"
Now, this isn't your permission to slip to go out into the world
and be a drama-queen. This is not your permission slip to try and
process your emotions all over social media, all over the work
office, or anywhere and everywhere you go. There is a middle
ground- it's subtle, it's tricky to navigate- but take this from
the girl who spent almost 3 decades of her life shoving her
emotions down and hiding them from literally everyone- it makes it
really harder to process ANYTHING. And we grow into better humans
when we process our emotions, when we allow ourselves to feel a
wide range of emotions ranging from rage to joy. All emotions are
OK. All vibes are OK.
It's not positive vibes only. It's OK to not be OK.